Thursday, 20 December 2012

A Chat.

I don't really know why I'm doing this, but I sort of want to talk. Or type. My life is crazy, there's lots going on. I'm a teenage boy with emotions, interests, and confusion. I am gay. I cop a lot of crap for that. I told a few close friends a year ago, but of course they 'let it slip' and it escalated out of control. Now I'm 'faggot', 'gaylord', 'cocksucker', and many more. I like to think myself introverted, I'm not flamboyant and nor do I go around flirting. I hated my life and I was depressed for about 6 months. I cut myself. I seriously considered suicide. Then one day, I got invited to go for a day out with my friends. This gesture reinvigorated my life. The fact that I had friends who thought about me enough to invite me to hang out with them was incredible. I had an awesome day and my life just went uphill from there. My friends were cool with my sexuality and that was all that really mattered. Over the next 6 months the other kids began to get more and more comfortable with calling me names and making fun of me. I was 'the gay kid'. Whenever I talked to anybody they would say 'Says the faggot' and wouldn't let me speak. I gained weight because I couldn't be motivated to do anything. My life sucked. When I thought school couldn't get any worse, my friends started calling me 'fatso' and 'faggot'. One friend in particular was the worst. 'Henry' really got into the spirit of things. He started casually mentioning how much he hates gays, how gays are inferior, he loves to take advantage of gays, etc. I stopped communicating with people, I gave up on making friends. Within a month of giving up, school ended. I never told an adult because I didn't want my parents finding out my sexuality. So I ended my final year of primary school an absolute mess of a person. Next year I'll be starting high school with one of my 'friends' who torments me. That brings me to this. It feels weird to admit all this to the Internet. To admit that I'm only 12 years old and have been through all this already. Well... If somebody finds this, please comment.

TL;DR: Self Pity